South Park Test
18 questions. Six personality dimensions. One deeply unflattering answer. Find out which South Park resident you actually are — the schemer, the sweet one, or the guy who has been quietly furious since 2011.
takes about 2 minutes
No sign-up. No email. 16 possible results, plus one secret one that almost nobody gets.
Unofficial fan project — not affiliated with Paramount or Comedy Central. Mature satire for adults. There is no official South Park test; this is a fan project and not a children's site.
What this South Park test actually measures
Most character quizzes ask whether you like parties and then hand you whoever the author liked. This one asks what you'd do at Casa Bonita with forty minutes left, or in Mr. Garrison's class when he says something deranged, and then scores your answers across six personality dimensions.
There are 18 questions, 16 possible characters, and one secret result. Your result page shows your top three matches and which of your answers decided it — so you can argue with it properly.
How the South Park test works
1
Answer 18 questions
Real dilemmas, not 'do you like parties?'. Casa Bonita, the school cafeteria, one slice of pizza and four people.
2
We score you on six dimensions
Heart, Chaos, Authoritah, Cynicism, Hustle and Voltage. Your answers build a profile — not a tally.
3
We match you to a character
Your profile is compared against all 16 characters. You'll see your top three, and exactly which answers decided it.
All 16 results
Every character below has a full write-up, their strengths, their fatal flaw, their ideal duo and their nemesis. One more result is hidden and only unlocks for a very specific profile.
Eric Cartman
You're Cartman. Respect my authoritah.
Butters Stotch
You're Butters. Oh, hamburgers.
Randy Marsh
You're Randy. You're going to need a bigger farm.
Kenny McCormick
You're Kenny. You'll be fine. Probably.
Kyle Broflovski
You're Kyle. You're right. That's the problem.
Stan Marsh
You're Stan. You're the normal one. Congratulations?
Wendy Testaburger
You're Wendy. You're going to fix this. Then you're going to fix you.
Craig Tucker
You're Craig. Cool. Whatever.
Tweek Tweak
You're Tweek. GAH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!
Mr. Garrison
You're Mr. Garrison. You have stopped pretending.
Jimmy Valmer
You're Jimmy. Wow, what a great audience!
PC Principal
You're PC Principal. I'm here to check your privilege.
Chef
You're Chef. Hello there, children.
Timmy Burch
You're Timmy. Living rent-free in the moment.
Clyde Donovan
You're Clyde. You'd like to speak to the manager.
Tolkien Black
You're Tolkien. You have nothing to prove. It shows.
Want the short version instead? The South Park quiz page lists every possible result and answers the common questions before you start.
South Park test — frequently asked questions
Is this South Park test accurate?
It's a personality quiz, not a psychological instrument — but the scoring isn't random. Your answers build a six-dimension profile that's compared against every character's profile mathematically. You'll see your top three matches and the exact dimensions that decided it, so you can judge the result yourself.
How many questions are in the South Park test?
Eighteen. Each has four answers and there's no timer. Most people take between two and four minutes. You can leave and come back — your progress is kept in your browser.
How many South Park characters can I get?
Sixteen are available to anyone, and one — Mysterion — is a secret result that only unlocks for a very specific profile. Every character has their own page with a full write-up, their strengths, their fatal flaw, their ideal duo and their nemesis.
Is the South Park test free?
Yes, completely. No sign-up, no email, no paywall, and no result hidden behind a login. The whole test runs in your browser.
Do I need to sign up or download anything?
No. There's no account system at all. Your answers never leave your device — there is no server to send them to. Nothing is stored anywhere except your own browser.
Can I retake the test and get a different result?
Yes. Answer options are shuffled each time, so the test doesn't play the same way twice, and answers are genuinely yours to change. Roughly one in five people get a different character on a retake.
Why did I get a different answer than my friend?
The scoring is deterministic: the same answers always produce the same result. If you and your friend differ, it's because you answered differently — and your result page shows exactly which answers moved you. Nobody is randomly assigned a character.
Is this the same as the idrlabs South Park test?
No, it's a separate and independent test. We use South Park-specific scenario questions drawn from the show's locations and dilemmas, and we return a single named result. We're not affiliated with them and we make no claim about which is better — they've been running since 2009 and we're not going to pretend otherwise.
What does “test” mean here?
It means a personality quiz. It is not a medical test, not a screening, not a DNA test, and it has nothing to do with any medical storyline in the show. It's 18 questions about how you'd behave, and it produces a cartoon character.
Is this the official South Park test?
No. This is an unofficial fan project and it is not affiliated with, endorsed by or sponsored by Paramount, South Park Studios, or the show's creators. South Park and its characters belong to their respective owners. There is no official quiz.
Is this a DNA test?
No. It's a personality quiz and nothing else. We don't collect any biological data, any personal data, or anything at all — everything happens in your browser.
About this site
This is an independent fan project. It is not the official South Park test — there isn't one. We built it because most character quizzes in this genre ask generic personality questions and then hand you a result you don't recognise.
Read how the scoring works, or why we built it.